Caring for My High School Sweetheart Through Melanoma

My name is Sue Castanier, and I have been married to Mark, my high school sweetheart, for 45 years.  Over the years we walked on beaches, rode our bikes, and went for long walks.  We were careful wearing sunscreen, and Mark always wore a hat. Blue eyes, freckles, and his Irish/Scottish heritage were what made him so cute!

In 2011, Mark had a mole on the back of his left calf that went “funky.”  He had it removed, and he was told it was non-malignant.  Three months later, our family doctor asked for the report, and something didn’t sit right with the surgeon.  The pathologist reexamined the tissue and found it was malignant.  Mark went back for more surgery and had a few lymph nodes removed, and after five years of follow-ups, melanoma became a distant memory. Mark continued seeing the dermatologist twice a year for basal cell carcinoma treatments.

In February 2022, Mark developed an unusual bump on the top of his head and on his nose.  We had moved to London, and it sure looked like cutaneous squamous cell carcinoma.  The crater on the top of his head had really spread, leaving him with a huge scar.  I do think wives can be the extra push men need to see their doctor. Fortunately, Mark is tall, so I can only see it when I kiss the top of his head while he’s seated.

Melanoma reentered our lives in August 2023, when I noticed a lump in Mark’s groin.  We thought it might be a hernia.  Mark had a dermatologist appointment that week, and when he showed her, she suspected melanoma had returned in the lymph nodes.  Shortly after, we left for a pilgrimage to Israel. During the trip,  we renewed our wedding vows “for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to  cherish, till death do us part.” I became very emotional.  It gave me the spiritual strength to face whatever lay ahead for Mark.

We waited six months for a surgery date while doctors debated whether to proceed with surgery first or begin immunotherapy.  The CT and the PET scans were delayed, and the wait was incredibly stressful.  During this time, Melanoma Canada became our lifeline. We leaned on their resources as we watched the tumor grow.

When I saw the 7 Summits for Skin Cancer Challenge, I knew it was the positive outlet I needed to support Mark. Each week, we invited friends to join us for a 5 km walk – whether at parks in London, along the beach in Ipperwash, on a trail in Brantford, or  with our daughter in Stratford. Our friends and family gave us so much encouragement, love and lots of laughs.  I was able to raise money for Melanoma Canada, which meant the world to us.

Mark’s surgery finally took place on February 21st, and it confirmed stage 4 metastasized melanoma.  It’s never easy to hear the “cancer” word again. However, his most recent CT scan shows no evidence of cancer.  Mark is now undergoing Keytruda treatments every three weeks for a total of 17 sessions.  Luckily, his only side effects are a rash and a bit of fatigue the day after treatment.

Since we couldn’t travel outside Ontario this year, we followed a map of an Ontario tour that took us from Paris to Copenhagen to London to Dublin to Brussels.  We continue to hike and enjoy life.  Yes, we have setbacks, but we remain hopeful and optimistic about celebrating our 60th anniversary – having just celebrated our 45th in 2024!

1 Comment
January 21, 2025

Thank you for sharing your story. Ours is all too similar with my husband’s diagnosis just as covid started and biopsy results, doctor appointments and surgery all delayed. The result – stage 4 metastatic melanoma. Rounds of immunotherapy, PET scans every few months but here we are – biking, skiing, travelling when drugs, energy and insurance allows. The Canmore skiers have had a team each year and will again. Thanks again for helping to educate the public about the dangers and the hope.

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